


blooming

by radholladay



Series: the seasons [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Drama, F/M, Letters, Luke Hemmings - Freeform, fight, hemmings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 13:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1390054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radholladay/pseuds/radholladay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he tried to fix her; yet she was far too broken to mend</p>
            </blockquote>





	blooming

**Author's Note:**

> I don't love you anymore

You were broken, and I was determined to mend your cracks with blooming flowers. You were heartless, and I was determined to find you. You were scared, and I was sure that I could keep you safe. I couldn't fix you, I couldn't mend you, I couldn't find you. You shoved yourself so far into the darkness, and I had to light to find you.

But the springtime came; and that was a different story - you came out to play. Spring was your favorite season, you loved the warmth it brought to your always cold skin. I always compared you to a sunflower - not only because you were beautiful, but because in the sunlight; I could see you. I could see the person who was hidden away behind your dark shadow - the person you told me you were scared of. How could you be scared of something unpredictable - yet so careful?

Spring was always our season together - you were breaking down your walls for me. But not this year - you changed and you shut me out cold heartedly. You told me you wanted some space to think - so I gave it to you. You needed some time to be alone; to feel alright again. That's when you left. You left to feel alright again; not realizing what you'd do to me. 

I woke up to dark and gloomy skies, with rain smashing the sides of the cheap motel I had rented out for the night. I dialed your number - and it went straight to voicemail, something you never let happen. I understood why the sun was hidden from the whole world - my own sunshine had just left.

I didn't know what happened until I got to our shared apartment. Your car had left the parking spot we had reserved for you, and you were nowhere. All you had left was your distinct smell; vanilla and rosemary. And this small letter, addressed to only me, my heart sank reading it.

Dear Luke,

I was broken, but you were so determined to put me back together. And I love you for that, I really do. But I'm heartless, in all honesty - and you can't find me. You know I was scared - and you made me safe - and I thank you. But Luke darling, I see it in your eyes - you're just as broken as I am. Leaving is probably the worst thing, but it's the right thing. Luke - I dedicate this to you, you never knew the truth. I left letters around the house explaining my actions. But Luke, I ask of only two things from you:

Don't blame yourself (you tend to do that a lot)

Don't look for me ( i know you'll want to but please, don't)

I stayed up three day - looking for all your notes. I ran on energy drinks and self hatred, but I fould them all. I found all 10 of them, and I still don't understand.

"Two broken people create nothing but disaster"  
"If I couldn't fix myself; you couldn't"  
"You can't bloom flowers in my cracks - only hope - and I accepted none"  
"You deserve someone who isn't me"  
"You can't spend your whole life trying to fix someone, when you need it just as much"  
"The memories were coming back - and it would break me more"  
"I am not a sunflower, I'm a wilted rose - broken but deadly"  
"You deserve someone who isn't broken"  
"Please don't find me - I'm doing this for you"

I spend three more days inside - looking for more to explain you. You left me confused and broken - and I didn't understand why. I tried calling you one time - and you sent a message with five little words that broke me.

"I don't love you anymore"

Well you know what? I love you so damn much - I still do. I don't even know what made you not love me anymore - was I supposed to stop you from leaving? Did me trying to fix you - actually upset you more?

I'm so sorry,

Please love me again.

I know you're out of my limit,

But come back to me.

I want to see you again,

I'm so damn sorry


End file.
